Hate That I Love You
by relic yuy
Summary: Riley hates that he loves Zane enough to bear the pain but finds unexpected comfort where he never thought he would.


AN: No ideas for a title yet. Suggestions are welcome. Slight note before we begin, this is not a Riley/Owen fic. I have just been a little irked with the way people are reacting to Owen and claiming shit like "he looks like a rapist" or he's a douche. The Owen we have seen on the show is a douche when it comes to Riley/Zane and even Adam but people are more complex than that. I wanted to give him a little more depth so I take responsability if he is OOC.

* * *

Riley's shoulders sagged as he leaned back on the park bench. He sighed heavily as he spun the football in his hands.

"Trouble in paradise?"

Riley looked up to find Owen standing on the pavement next to him.

"I'm not in the mood right now," he said, hoping Owen would for once just leave the matter be.

No such luck. Owen frowned at him and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"What's up? Zane cheat on you or something?"

Owen had said it lightly, as a joke but Riley sighed and kicked at the ground.

"No shit?" Owen plopped himself on the bench next to Riley. "What happened?"

Riley looked at him suspiciously but Owen's body language expressed none of the hostility or mockery it had in the past few months. He was just sitting there, casual and relaxed as he had way back when Riley was still firmly shut in his closet. Riley had a short mental debate in his mind. This was driving him crazy, keeping it all bottled up but he didn't feel like confiding in Anya or Peter either. He didn't want to deal with the pity or the _plan_ to make everything better.

"I've been dumped."

"Seriously?" Owen asked almost skeptically.

Riley gave him a look. Why would anyone make up something like that?

"Weird," Owen said. "You guys were all nauseatingly happy."

"Yeah, well... He found someone better."

Owen snorted. "Whatever. His loss. Lucky for you, Owen is here."

"Uh?"

"Let's go," Owen said getting to his feet. He turned at looked back at Riley waiting for him to follow suit.

"Where?"

"Other end of the park, where all the Catholic School Girls hang out after school. Nothing that fixes a broken heart like a blowjob in the park."

"What? Owen, I'm gay."

Owen arched his right brow.

"I'm still gay even if I'm not with Zane," Riley clarified.

Owen shook his head in distaste. "What's so good about guys anyway?"

"What's so good about girls?"

"Big soft tits and sweet wet pussies."

Riley cringed. "Ugh! I'm gonna be sick."

Owen laughed. "So what's so great about Zane?"

"Everything," Riley said with a sad, reminiscent smile. "He's smart and funny and cute. He's got great hair, an amazing smile and the cutest little b..."

Owen made gagging noises and Riley laughed for probably the first time in days.

"Hey, you asked."

"I really don't get you, man," Owen said as he began to walk off. He got about five paces then, glancing over his shoulder and spotting Riley in the same slouched position on the bench, groaned aloud and threw his head up to the heavens.

"Hey," he called without really understanding why, "you wanna throw the football around?"

Riley sat in stunned silence for a moment. Who was this guy? This couldn't be the same jock who had written Riley is a fag on the school bus. It was strange. The guy who stood before him was the Owen who had befriended him when he had first signed up to the team.

"Yeah, why not?"

* * *

Riley was beginning to think that the world had flipped upside down. What else could explain him hanging out with his homophobic teammate? The homophobic teammate who outed him in shaving cream on a bus no less. Whatever, everyone could be a dick when they wanted to and right now maybe hell had frozen over because Owen was actually being a pretty decent friend.

After throwing the ball around in park, Owen had been rather parched so they had headed over to the convenience store. Owen went in search of his drink and Riley walked over to the magazine rack. He was perusing an article in Sports Illustrated when the world decided that it officially hated him.

"Riley?"

Zane. Shit!

Riley looked over his shoulder, sweeping the store for Owen. He caught sight of him talking to the clerk. Shit shit shit.

"You're hanging out with Owen, now?" Zane asked incredulously as he followed Riley's gaze.

"Hello, Zane. How are you today," Riley deadpanned.

"What the hell, Riley? After all he's done?"

"I can hang out with whoever I want to."

Zane paused. "Look, we need to talk. You left before..."

"Hey Princess," Owen said coming to stand next to Riley.

Zane restrained himself from rolling his eyes. "Owen. I thought you hated fags."

"Maybe it's just you," Owen said with the best smile he could manage.

"Right back at you," Zane said with a matching smile.

Riley looked back and forth between the two grinning at each other despite their common loathing. This was too weird.

"Did you get your drink?" Riley asked.

"Yeah. I got you one too," Owen said, tossing a bottle of Gatorade to Riley.

"Ooh, red," Riley smiled.

"You don't drink anything else."

"You remembered that?" Yup, it was official. The world had gone insane.

"Like I could forget, after you spewed the orange one all over my face last year."

"Oh, yeah," Riley remembered with a chuckle. "Sorry about that."

Owen shrugged.

Zane looked back and forth between the two jocks. Wasn't their banter a little to easy considering their history?

"What are you two dating now?" Zane asked sarcastically.

The thought was so absurd that Riley almost laughed out loud. Owen on the other hand had other thoughts.

"So what if we are?"

Riley's mouth fell open and Zane laughed.

"Sure." He turned to Riley, ignoring Owen completely. "Riley, you're being stubborn. You're not answering my calls and you've been avoiding me for days. Let me just explain what..."

Before Zane could finish his sentence, Owen had slung an arm around Riley and yanked him close. When he pressed their lips together, it was difficult to tell which of the three boys was the most shocked.

"Sorry, Rockette," Owen winked. "Movie starts in a few minutes. We gotta go."

With that and his arm still wrapped around Riley's shoulder, Owen guided the shell-shocked QB out of the convenience store and into the street.

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Riley exploded once they were in relative privacy, sheltered in an alley.

Owen downed his bottle of Gatorade and wiped furiously at his lips. "Shut up! I did that for you!"

"How? How is tonguing me in front of my boyfriend helping me?"

"Ugh! Don't call it that, I feel sick enough as it is."

"Then explain!"

Owen yanked Riley's bottle out of his hand and took a large gulp. He swished it around his mouth and spat it back out.

"You looked like you didn't want to talk to him."

"I didn't but that doesn't mean I wanted to make out with you."

"Stop already! _I'm_ the one who's grossed out here. Besides, it worked didn't it? You're not talking to him anymore."

Riley paused. Owen was right. The kiss had been unconventional but effective. Yup, hell had frozen over. Owen had always been crafty but Riley would have never expected him to do _that_. As Owen yanked the edge of his shirt up to scrape it over his tongue, Riley felt an uncontrollable urge to tease him.

"You're a pretty good kisser."

"Shut up or I'm going to kick your ass!"

Riley laughed and leaned against the brick wall.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't go falling in love with me."

"Right," Riley snorted. "I'll try but I don't know if I can resist."

Owen sighed dramatically. "I have that affect on people."

* * *

Once Owens stomach had settled, they decided to forgo the movie and head over to the pool hall. Because Riley's luck decided to continue on it's trend, every pool table in the hall was occupied. Owen suggested darts and morbid thoughts flashed through Riley's head. By the time he shook those out, Owen was already standing in front of the dart board, squinting with the red dart poised in his hand. Owen possessed very good aim which Riley already knew from their time on the football field. Owen took the first game with ease.

Riley was sullen. He really hadn't wanted to see Zane today. It still hurt. He felt so foolish, so ridiculously stupid. Even though he was relieved not to have to lie anymore, he had come out for Zane. He had done some really sappy things, _publicly_, for Zane. He had been so freaking happy.

"Will you stop sighing already!" Owen snapped.

"If you'll stop wiping your mouth," Riley countered.

Owen's arm stopped mid air. He dropped it back to his side and glared.

"It wasn't that bad," Riley said.

"Says you! My first kiss in grade 4 was better than that."

"You surprised me! I wasn't even trying."

"Right. No wonder Princess left you."

Riley's shoulders slouched.

"It was a joke, relax!"

"I know," Riley said miserably. "I can't help it."

"Are you going to tell me what happened already?"

"You _want_ to know?"

"It beats listening to you sigh all the time... Just... no details."

Riley sank into a chair and Owen came to sit opposite him. "There was this guy at his dance studio. This gorgeous, tall, built, theatre guy. Zane's been spending a lot more time there ever since this guy showed up. They've got everything in common. When Zane talks about him he gets all... starry eyed and happy."

"Wait, did you actually get dumped or are you just jealous?"

"I'm getting to that," Riley snapped.

Owen held his hands up in defeat. "Then hurry up and get to it. I don't care about how great this other fag is."

"I'm a fag too you know," Riley said.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Get on with it."

"I walked in on them kissing."

"Eww but just kissing? That's it?"

"What do you mean that's it? He had one hand up Zane's shirt and his other was grabbing..."

"AHH! Stop! Stop! Enough! I said no details!"

Riley's gut twisted at the memory. Zane had tried to tell him it was a misunderstanding but he hadn't listened. He knew what he saw and even if Zane had eventually pushed him away, there had been real emotion there. It was just a matter of time before Zane surrendered to those feelings. Riley felt helpless and angry and sad.

He had beat the crap out of his punching bag that night, then laced up his sneakers and run until his legs gave out beneath him. Lying in the grass in the dark as his breath caught to him, thoughts of Zane swirled in his mind. He thought of the kiss a little and he thought of Zane's smile when he talked about his dance mentor and how brilliant he was. The thought ached worse then his legs.

What did he and Zane have in common? Football? Riley knew he only half listened when Zane spoke to him about dance. When Zane spoke to him about engineering or politics, most of it went right over his head. He was just a dumb jock who was too scared to tell his parents who he was. Why would Zane want that? He deserved better, Riley thought. He deserved to be with a great guy like the dancer whose name Riley could never remember.

Riley had it bad. He had it really bad if he was willing to let Zane go so he could be happy.

But it wasn't that easy. Zane was a great guy. A great, loyal, amazing guy and he was making it impossible for Riley to bow out gracefully. If he would just stop calling, stop trying to explain, it would make things so much easier. Riley knew what he wanted to say. That it didn't mean anything. That it was a mistake. Riley had apologized enough times to know all the clichéd words to come. Zane would mean them, just as Riley had meant them when he had said them but it wouldn't change anything. They were too different to stay together.

The longer Riley put this off, the deeper he would fall and the harder it would become to say goodbye.


End file.
